Ask Avery: Navigating Uncertainty

Welcome back to Ask Avery! I'm Avery, and I'm here to listen and help with anything and everything! Please feel free to write to me at AskAvery@pietrap.com and perhaps you'll be featured in my next article. Our Discord is also very lively and a great place to hang out!

Let's leap right into today's question, shall we?

Dear Avery,

I've got a dilemma. The TLDR is that my in-laws and my parents don't live in the same state and they both want us to come visit for the holidays. I'm so overwhelmed with work & the family that I haven't given it much thought. Nobody is going to write us out of the will for not visiting, and I have a great relationship with both of them, but burnout is making my brain melt out of my ears. I'm outsourcing this decision to you. Or a coin flip. Whichever comes first.

— Listlessly Leaning Towards My In-Laws 

Dear Listless,

The good news is that you seem to have a big, supportive extended family who all love you very much! It can feel irritating when our elders pressure us to come visit, but at the end of the day it sounds like they just miss you and want to see you. Let's not get started on how this time of year is much more stressful than it has any right to be...

I know you said you were burned out on decision making, but the thing about writing is that it can serve as a second brain. And this paper brain isn't fried. Maybe try writing out a few factors on PRO and CON columns for each side of the family. And an important factor is whether or not you visited one side family more than the other recently.

Is Turnabout Fair Play?

If I can ask, is there any reason your family can't come visit you? Hosting all those people can be chaotic, but perhaps you can all pool your funds together, treat it like a vacation, and block a few rooms for your family in a hotel close to your home. Your family will mainly be spending all their time with you and only use the hotel to sleep, or maybe get a bit of privacy when things are too noisy. 


Some pros and cons of hosting your family during non-holiday dates…

• Travel is less intense, and there’s less traffic.

• Cheaper flights off-holiday season!

• It’s easier to ask for time off during these times, as opposed to holidays.

• Hotels are cheaper this time as well.

Cons…

• Some families might view this as insulting. 

• If you’re still working, it might limit the amount of time you spend with your family while they’re in town.

• Though hotels are cheaper during the off season, a cheap hotel can still be a big expense depending on your budget.

Only you know the specifics of your family, Listless! 

When All Else Fails...

If you haven't flipped a coin yet, I'll flip one for you.

Ready? 

It just said... 

Tails!

Hopefully that helps!

Jokes aside, a new friend has just joined our town with a keen interest in tarot. I’ve never put a lot of stock in mysticism, but I know it’s important to a lot of people. So, I thought I’d invite my friend to share her input. She recently bought a new deck, and while it isn't as straightforward as flipping a coin, we've been having a lot of fun reading her cards.

After consulting her deck, she drew the Four of Pentacles. This card cautions against being miserly or hoarding wealth. Her interpretation of the card aligns with my hotel idea, aka, "spend a bit of money on your family this year".  

Fellow tarot enthusiasts, I would love to hear your input on this! Do you disagree with this reading? Or do you think she should have done a three card spread?

If you all like her tarot card based style of advice, I'll do more of those in the future. 

Always,


Avery